What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
My hand turned me down
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize