Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
we're so committed to being not committed
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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