question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
