did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
When are your genitals available?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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