I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
