So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
