so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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