Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
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