but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
