Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
