i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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