she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
