ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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