you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
why do cheetos always look like penises
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
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