ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
