I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
