Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
