i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Randomize