i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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