Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
