why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
