I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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