You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
