I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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