i permit you to call me
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
