Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
