I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
