If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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