Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
