he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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