Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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