so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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