Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
