i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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