Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I miss vodka workout Fridays
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
