so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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