I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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