I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
