so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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