i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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