So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
time to smoke my breakfast
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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