im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
