Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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