It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Go christen that room with your naked body.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
