awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
