question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
