Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
