Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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