do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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