He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
