um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
She announced her abortion via fbk
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
nutella sex= disaster
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
