she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
