How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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