i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
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