I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize