how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
