just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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