I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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