Ketchup is God's man juice
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Can I color on your dick again?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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