She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
