OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I showed him my bush... on skype.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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