I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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