the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize