she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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