She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
