Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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