Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He shit in the fireplace
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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