He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
