Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
