idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
