I accidentally burped into my bong.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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