i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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