I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
