Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
