the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
